osekkaidesu

Halloween@Opinionology

2010-10-31T08:23:00.002+08:00

Ten Software Testing Myths ...

2008-01-16T10:55:00.000+08:00

I was reading Lidor Wyssocky’s blog and his post on 10 software development myths. I thought, let me re-do this list for software testing – replace words “development” by “testing” and other relevant words. Here is the list … Bingo … we, the software testers *nearly* share the list of myths (frustrations?) …

It is interesting to note that last 5 myths go unchanged … development and testing share the honor. I even doubt that Lidor might be a software tester or a developer having a strong tester like mind.

10. The tester’s task is easy: he should merely write and execute the test cases by translating requirements to test cases. Additionally log some bugs.

9. Every test case is documented. Otherwise, how on earth can we expect to do regression testing and in general repeat testing?

8. Test case Reviews are a one-time effort. All you have to do is take an artifact after it is completed, and verify that it is correct. Test case reviews, for example, should merely verify that *all* requirements are covered by test cases and EVERY REQUIREMENT is COVERED by AT LEAST ONE TEST CASE.

7. Software Testing should be like manufacturing. Each of us is a robot in an assembly line. Given a certain input, we should be able to come up automatically with the right output. Execute a set of test cases (should execute 100 test cases a day) and report pass/fail status.

6. Software Testing has nothing to do with creativity. Creativity – what? The only part which requires creativity is designing your assembly line of test case design. From that point on, everyone should just be obedient.

5. Creativity and discipline cannot live together. Creativity equals chaos. [This one remains unchanged from original list of software development myths]

4. The answer to every challenge we face in the software industry lies in defining a process. That process defines the assembly line without which we are doomed to work in a constant state of chaos. [BIG ONE …This one remains unchanged from original list of software development myths]

3. Processes have nothing to do with people. You are merely defining inputs and outputs for different parts of your machine.

2. If a process is not 100% repeatable, it is not a process. Letting people adapt the process and do “whatever they want” is just going back to chaos again.

1. Quality is all about serving the customer. Whatever the customer wants, he should get. Things that don’t concern your customer should not be of interest to you.

Why We Love Beer

2007-10-09T09:33:00.000+08:00

There's a good Van Morrison song (Hey, are there any bad ones? A couple, yeah) called "Got to Go Back" in which the Celtic belter sings:

Keep me away from porter or whiskey
Don't play anything sentimental, it'll make me cry

Van the Man is singing about his N-methyl-D-aspartic acid receptors, though we suspect he doesn't know it.

NMDA receptors are part of the brain's system of neurons and synapses, and they relate to memory.

In other words, beer helps memory.

Scientists performed experiments with rats and found that they remembered things better after a couple of beers (the rats, not the scientists).

Previous research had found a correlation between alcohol consumption and the performance of the receptors. So, as only a scientist could put it, "We thought it was worth pursuing, since ethanol drinking is such a common pattern of human behavior."

Alcohol's effect on those receptors may explain why you think of her (you know who) after a couple of pints. Or why Red Sox fans, after a few, relive dark moments involving the Yankees.

One of the scientists says that drinking to drown your sorrows "could actually paradoxically promote traumatic memories and lead to further drinking, contributing to the development of alcoholism."

There's your early-warning system. When you start reminiscing, you've had enough.

Will the world end in 2012?

2007-09-05T14:03:00.000+08:00

"I hesitated to write this article because I did not want to scare people. But I was told by an angelic being that I must."
By Jaime Licauco;Inquirer

Smoking and Your Brain

2007-09-05T08:58:00.000+08:00

A new study says smoking apparently improves your odds for getting dementia in your old age.

It's not surprising, since getting oxygen to your noggin is crucial for brain health, and smoking reduces the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream.

It's also obvious that your brain isn't working too well if you light up in the first place.

Sacred' Thing'

2007-08-02T08:56:00.000+08:00

A newlywed couple is on their honeymoon. Looking forward to wild sex, the anticipation was too much to bear for the husband so he died on the nuptial bed. Utterly devastated, the wife decides to preserve her husband’s massive penis by cutting it off him, to hang on a wall, to be taken off and be used for her pleasure.

Every night, she takes the preserved penis off the wall and kisses it, licks it, inserts it in her. A neighbor sees this routine and comes up with an idea. He makes a hole in the wall, removes the dead man’s penis from the wall and inserts his instead. The lady comes home, gets a knife and cuts the penis off the wall. “Darling we are moving house today.” Ouch!

Transformer-Philippine Edition

2007-07-30T19:32:00.001+08:00

They X-rayed His Brain, and Found Nothing

2007-07-23T10:34:00.000+08:00

No, really. It's not the old joke.

There's a guy in France, 44, married, father of two, works as a civil servant, who has practically no brain but lives a normal life.

We'll pause while you make your own joke: "And his name is [insert boss's name]."

The man in question was complaining of weakness in his leg. Docs took his history, learned he had had a shunt in his brain as a child to drain off water on the brain. It was removed at age 14.

So they took a CT scan and an MRI, and found that almost his entire skull was filled with fluid, not brains.

There was just a thin sheet of actual brain tissue.

The guy's IQ is 75, well below average but not considered retarded.

Spray On Condoms?

2007-07-10T09:41:00.000+08:00

Is this spray can the condom, or the mace?

BERLIN (Reuters) - German sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.

Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, told Reuters Thursday the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.

"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said. "We're very serious."

Krause's team (spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis first. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom.

"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said. "We call it the '360 degree procedure' -- once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."

Krause said the plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds. He said it would function more effectively as a contraceptive because it would fit better and not slip.

i'll be the first to admit that i'm not really a big fan of condoms... they're generally a pain in the ass, though it's always more fun when she puts it on --- preferably with her lips...... but the idea of putting my dick in a can and pushing a button doesnt sound all that great, either... do find myself kinda curious though.

"be right with ya baby... gotta get my high-tech condom can... shit, where is it?"

Get Big, Get Laid

2007-07-10T09:00:00.000+08:00

Here's a thought to get you through those last couple of reps:

Girls are more likely to have a fling with guys who are muscular.

Yes, the ultimate motivator has scientific backing. Note that we said "fling," because when it comes to settling down, a woman is more likely to choose a more slender dude, thinking he's more romantic and faithful.

But for a relatively mindless, physical affair, they want a guy who is, well, more physical. Big muscles mean domineering and volatile, researchers say. Evidently women find volatile sex fun.

The conclusions are drawn from six studies—a total of 788 college students, including 509 women.

Looking at the phenomenon from the male side, muscular men have twice as many sex partners and flings than those of average muscularity.

AND muscular guys were way more likely to fool around with women who already have boyfriends. (Presumably they can defend themselves if her guy catches them.)

Said one professor: "Certainly, the study confirms what I believe are people's suspicions: that men who are more fit and more muscular are indeed seen as more attractive."

We at Men's Health told you so. Muscles work—in more ways than one. In fact, a little vanity can help you immensely in your life and career.

Spread the love, not the virus

2007-07-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

It is a fact that reported cases of AIDS in the Philippines is increasing. As of January 2006 the number is already in the thousands with the ratio being 20 Filipinos every month being HIV positive. And according to the United Nations, less than 10 percent of the Asia-Pacific’s estimated 8.5 million HIV positive are even aware of their status. The organization added that the lack of testing, counseling, and awareness impedes the prevention of the spread of HIV/AIDS in Asia.

Many people — particularly the youth — are unaware that there are three ways to acquire HIV/AIDS: sexual transmission, transmission through blood, and mother-to-youth transmission. As for sexual transmission, abstaining from sex may be the most effective way to avoid the disease, but even sexually active individuals may be spared by being faithful to one partner or simply to wear condoms consistently and correctly.

HIV/AIDS — as well as many other sexually transmitted infections — can be prevented if people are encouraged to adopt safer sexual habits through media campaigns, social marketing, peer education, and counseling.

LINKS
StopHIV.info

Virgins and Safety

2007-07-04T08:48:00.000+08:00

Did you use a condom the first time you had sex?

The folks at Durex did a survey and found that in America, only about 6 in 10 used contraception when they lost their virginity.

That's about the same percentage as in Australia and France. The United Kingdom came in at 74 percent. The safest-sex country? Greece, at 88 percent.

Things are getting better, though—the younger the people surveyed, the more likely they were to use contraception.

A great additional question in the Durex survey: Did you regret your first time? Nearly half of women did. Only 32 percent of guys did.

Is This the Real Boner Juice?

2007-07-04T08:41:00.000+08:00

Maybe you've seen the Saturday Night Live parody commercial for Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice.

Could pomegranate juice be the real boner juice?

A new study found that a daily glug of the tart elixir can make your erections stronger. (Yes, yes, it was financed by a pomegranate-juice company, but it was a real study.)

The study found that 32 percent of the guys who drank a placebo (meaning a liquid that wasn't pomegranate juice) said, Hey! It's harder!

But 47 percent who drank the real pom juice said the same thing. In study-land, that's a significant difference.

We're not surprised to hear this because the antioxidants in pomegranate juice can help with circulation, and anything that helps blood flow can help it flow to the Place That Matters Most.

Don't like pomegranate juice? Try some of that placebo stuff. (Kidding!) The success of the placebo juice just goes to show, sometimes erectile problems are all in your head.

Confessions of a Juicer

2007-06-28T09:58:00.000+08:00

It may very well be that 2007 is remembered as the Summer of Steroids. From Jason Giambi to Barry Bonds, and now Chris Benoit, it's the black cloud over modern day athletics.

As the drama unfolds in the murder-suicide story surrounding WWE wrestler Chris Benoit, the role of performance-enhancers is under the microscope.

And again, we're flooded with denial -- this time from the WWE, claiming steroids had nothing to do with these "senseless acts."

We've written before about steroids entering every day life: Their use is on the rise amongst Wall Street brokers, cops, software developers -- regular guys, in other words -- who want to add muscle and melt fat with dangerous shortcuts.

The lesson here? Don't take it. But you don't have to trust us, just ask this steroid user.

If you want to use science to aid muscle growth, look no further than our new (and free) TNT plan. Ingest more food for muscle, not that other stuff.

Egypt mufti says female circumcision forbidden

2007-06-27T08:45:00.000+08:00

CAIRO (Reuters) - Egypt's state-appointed Grand Mufti said on Sunday that female genital cutting was forbidden by Islam after an 11-year-old girl died while undergoing the procedure at a private medical clinic in southern Egypt.

Genital cutting of girls, often referred to as female genital mutilation or circumcision, is banned in Egypt although the practice remains widespread as a rite of passage for girls and is often viewed as a way to protect their chastity.

"The harmful tradition of circumcision that is practised in Egypt in our era is forbidden," Mufti Ali Gomaa was quoted as saying by the Egyptian state news agency MENA.

The statement was the strongest yet against the practice by the Mufti, who is the government's official arbiter of Islamic law. The Grand Sheikh of Cairo's prestigious al-Azhar mosque, Mohamed Sayed Tantawi, had previously described the practice as un-Islamic although some other clerics have supported it.

Both Tantawi and Coptic Pope Shenouda, the leader of Egypt's minority Christian community, have said that neither the Koran nor the Bible demand or mention female circumcision, which is usually performed on pre-pubescent girls.

The statement came after Budour Ahmed Shaker died on Thursday while undergoing the procedure in the southern province of Minya after she was given a large dose of anaesthetics, security sources said.

Egypt's doctors' syndicate has launched an investigation into the death, an Egyptian newspaper said. The girl's father has filed a lawsuit against the doctor for negligence and the doctor could face up to two years in jail, the security sources said.

The practice involves cutting off part or all of the clitoris and other female genitalia, sometimes by a doctor but also often by a relative or midwives. Side effects can include haemorrhage, shock and sexual dysfunction.

The practice is performed on both Muslim and Christian girls in Egypt and Sudan, but is extremely rare in most of the rest of the Arab world. It is also common in Eritrea, Ethiopia and Somalia.

A 2005 UNICEF report on the practice showed that 97 percent of Egyptian women between ages 15 and 49 had been circumcised. Egypt's campaign to end female cutting has included television programmes aimed at persuading parents to abandon the ancient practice.

source: http://news.scotsman.com

It's not enough to know what women want. You also have to know how to deliver it to them. So we at Cosmo asked our readers what makes for an ideal partner and, based on the results, came up with ways for you to completely rock her world.

15-year-old surgeon sparks outrage in India

2007-06-25T08:03:00.000+08:00

MUNEEZA NAQVI

Associated Press

June 21, 2007 at 5:02 AM EDT

NEW DELHI — The 15-year-old son of two doctors performed a filmed cesarean section birth under his parents' watch in southern India in an apparent bid to gain a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records as the youngest surgeon.

Instead, the boy's father could be stripped of his licences and may face criminal charges, officials said Thursday.

Dr. K. Murugesan showed a recording of his son performing a cesarean section to an Indian Medical Association chapter in the southern state of Tamil Nadu last month, said Dr. Venkatesh Prasad, secretary of the association. The video showed Dr. Murugesan anesthetizing the patient.

“We were shocked to see the recording,” Dr. Prasad told The Associated Press, adding that the IMA told Dr. Murugesan that his act was an ethical and legal violation.

Dr. Murugesan owns and runs a maternity hospital in the city of Manaparai, Dr. Prasad said in a telephone interview from Manaparai. The family could not be immediately reached for comment.

Dr. Murugesan, who could possibly be prevented from practising and face criminal charges for allowing his son to perform the operation, expressed no regret and accused the Manaparai medical association of being “jealous” of his son's achievements, Dr. Prasad added.

“He said this was not the first surgery performed by his son and that he had been training him for the last three years,” said Dr. Prasad.

Dr. Murugesan told the medical association that he wanted to see his son's name in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Dr. Prasad said that his team had reported the surgery to the state's top medical association in state capital, Chennai.

State health secretary V.K. Subburaj told reporters Thursday that the government would investigate.

“We'll get the report and then we'll see whether there are any violations ... prima facie it looks like there is a big violation,” he said.

“We will definitely take action against the concerned medical officers.”

source: http://www.theglobeandmail.com

Women Want Sex as Much as Men (Strings Attached)

2007-06-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

A guy who sleeps with 50 women is a stud, a pimp, a ladies' man. A woman who has sex with that many men is a total slut, right?

Before you answer, you might want to consider that this societal double-standard is what drives her to ask for a ring (or at least a fuzzy commitment to monogamy) before you get to do your thing.

New research from the University of Florida suggests that women (gasp!) actually want to have sex as much as we do, but most feel compelled to conform to society's gender roles.

We men have our own roles. We're expected (and sometimes actively peer-pressured) to chase multiple partners, masturbate compulsively and casually shrug off casual sex.

Inside a monogamous relationship where privacy and trust usually shield couples from social scrutiny, men and women have highly similar attitudes towards sex, according to the researchers.

Still think women are total prudes? Research from Emory University found that, when shown porn images, guys tend to look at faces first, while women zero right in on the genitals. Unless they're on birth control, in which case they look at jewelry and the backdrop. We couldn’t make this up if we tried.

A potential reason we focus on the faces is that we're trying to ascertain whether or not the woman is enjoying herself. Which may be the same reason she's looking at the guy's junk.

Vatican issues "10 Commandments" for good motorists

2007-06-20T15:11:00.001+08:00

By Philip Pullella

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Thou shall not drive under the influence of alcohol. Thou shall respect speed limits. Thou shall not consider a car an object of personal glorification or use it as a place of sin.

The Vatican took a break from strictly theological matters on Tuesday to issue its own rules of the road, a compendium of do's and don'ts on the moral aspects of driving and motoring.

A 36-page document called "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road" contains 10 Commandments covering everything from road rage, respecting pedestrians, keeping a car in good shape and avoiding rude gestures while behind the wheel.

"Cars tend to bring out the 'primitive' side of human beings, thereby producing rather unpleasant results," the document said.

It appealed to what it called the "noble tendencies" of the human spirit, urging responsibility and self-control to prevent the "psychological regression" often associated with driving.

The document's Fifth Commandment reads: "Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin".

Asked at a news conference when a car became an occasion of sin, Cardinal Renato Martino said "when a car is used as a place for sin".

One part of the document, under the section "Vanity and personal glorification", will not go down well with owners of Ferraris in motor-mad Italy.

"Cars particularly lend themselves to being used by their owners to show off, and as a means for outshining other people and arousing a feeling of envy," it said.

It urged readers not to behave in an "unsatisfactory and even barely human manner" when driving and to avoid what it called "unbalanced behavior ... impoliteness, rude gestures, cursing, blasphemy ..."

Praying while driving was encouraged.

Vatican City, the world's smallest sovereign state, doesn't have many of the problems listed in the document.

It has about 1,000 cars, the speed limit is 30 kph and one Vatican official said the last accident inside Vatican City's walls was about 1-1/2 years ago, resulting in minor damage.

Asia's Sex Lessons - June 2007

2007-06-19T09:35:00.000+08:00

Professor Agcaoili shares 10 thrilling all-time best bedroom tricks. The world can end now

1 Be carnally creative
A rather handy solution to the sleepy female/awake-and-erect male syndrome. Originally used as a method of birth control and to preserve virginity, “femoral intercourse” involves you thrusting your penis between her closed thighs instead of inside her vagina. It’s a gentle, non-invasive way to have sex, and it keeps both of you satisfied. If you place your penis near the top of her thighs so it slides in between the vaginal lips, sleepy female can rapidly turn into wide awake, horny female!

2 Ask her the finger
Believe me, boys, you’ll be exceedingly lucky to have the guts to ask for it. Every guy I’ve done this to asks for it more and more. The G-spot is just there, all you have to do is ask your girlfriend to find it…as you go and find hers.

3 Remember that position counts
Is she left-handed or right-handed? Never underestimate the symmetry of the body: If she is left-handed then the left side of her upper extremities is more sensitive. Upper extremities—meaning ears lobes, neck, nipples, shoulders. They say left-handed people are very creative, and instilling a more artistic exhibition on lovemaking will be more than appreciated. Inculcate this into your lovemaking.

4 Spare me some slippery stuff
When you do your own five-finger salute and it isn’t lubricated, it can feel uncomfortable instead of erotic. So when you’re in the heat of the moment, ask for her saliva. Don’t be embarrassed to ask her to spit on it. What do you know? You might get a little extra…

5 Ask to meet her vibrator
One of you holding a vibrator over the clitoral area during penetrative sex is the most effective way to ensure a shared orgasmic experience. Me? I use it as much as I use my toothbrush. Why don’t everyone?

6 Build bridges
If your goal is to achieve simultaneous orgasms, use the technique most sex therapists recommend. The idea is to give clitoral stimulation almost right up to the point of orgasm and then thrust her to trigger the final orgasmic reflex. This effectively provides a “bridge” between clitoral stimulation and intercourse. Studies show that up to half of women who couldn’t previously climax through penetration alone gained that ability after using this technique regularly.

7 Trigger orgasm
The more your brain travels a certain path neurologically, the more effortless it becomes. The act of smiling—actually curving your lips upward—triggers the release of serotonin, a hormone that makes you feel happy. The same applies to orgasm: The more signals of impending orgasm to your brain, the easier it will be to trigger the orgasmic response. Focus on the things you naturally do on approach to orgasm—sounds you make, how you move—then exaggerate them.

8 Stop the o’clock
“How long should it take to orgasm?” That’s like asking me, “How long should a piece of string be?” (Plus, I hate the word “should”!) If you trip over your tongue just by looking at a girl, it’s the first time your hands have gone south, and you ripped each other’s clothes off after a night out, both of you might orgasm in two minutes flat. If it’s your partner of 10 years and you’re tired and stressed and the kids are sleeping a few rooms away, it might take two hours. Statistics vary wildly, because this is something that’s totally dependent on circumstances. Some say it takes an average of 20 minutes for a woman to orgasm; others say eight minutes of direct clitoral stimulation will do the trick. I say eight to 10 minutes of direct contact sounds about right—but it totally depends on the variables.

9 Ask instructions
The woman’s sexual system is complicated. It would be like saying you only need to be pretty good at math to be a rocket scientist! On the other hand, your sexual system is simple. If you don’t have any clue how to touch her, then ask her to show you how—and I mean when, where, how hard, how fast…in as much detail as possible. It’s seriously not half as embarrassing as you think it is. Try simply opening your ears to hear a little moan and know she’s enjoying what you’re doing.

10 The cuddle trick
Some men still aren’t as verbose or as comfortable with expressing emotion as women are. Sex tends to be used as a means of showing their love and feeling close to us women. Men often have sex to feel wanted. It’s true, sex for a man appears to be his primal form of giving. If you really want to say “I love you,” you may suggest sex. So when your partner rejects sex with you, she’s not just rejecting the sex. Adopt a new philosophy: When she says no, tell her you just want to cuddle, and as we all know spooning can prelude to sex.

source: http://www.fhm.com.ph

Joke 101: Question!

2007-06-19T09:30:00.000+08:00

A housewife heard a knock at the door, and when she answered, a man asked her if she had a vagina. The woman slammed the door in disbelief at what the stranger had said. The following day, the same thing happened, so she decided to tell her husband. The husband was outraged. “Tomorrow I won’t go to work,” he said. “If the man returns and ask you if you have a vagina, say yes, and I will be hiding behind the door.”

The next day the same man came again, and when the woman opened the door, he asked if she had a vagina. The woman replied, “Yes!” “Good,” the man said. “Then please tell your husband to stop fucking my wife.”

source: http://www.fhm.com.ph

International Sex Survey 2007 Seduce Any Woman

2007-06-19T09:07:00.000+08:00

It's official: Foreign men have more sex, with more women, than American guys. We traveled the globe to find out how they do it. (And no, it's not their accents.)

By: Lauren Murrow

Sorry, dude, but guys in other countries are having more sex than you. Way more. We know, it doesn't make sense. Pop culture and the Internet would have us believe that American men are the most oversexed stallions on the planet, that every girl is 20, tanked, and topless. Plus, we have George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey. And has anyone tallied Tommy Lee's numbers?

Yet, there are the stats. According to a Men's Health survey of 40,000 readers worldwide, foreign men have sex up to 70 more times a year than you do. So much for our superpower status. But don't worry--we have a plan. We took a trip around the world to find out what makes men from other countries so attractive to the women they pursue. We also enlisted the help of sex experts around the globe to save you from another sexless night. Master their tips and soon you'll simply be able to say "G'day" and mate.

England : Take Her, Outside

Hugh Grant has typecast British men as meek and bumbling. But according to a 2005 Durex survey of 317,000 people in 41 countries, these blokes are so irresistible, their partners can't even wait to get back to the flat. Twice as many Brits as Americans report having had sex on public transportation and in alleyways and gardens. "Many a chap has fallen in love in the checkout line at the supermarket," says Vicki Ford, a British psychosexual therapist and the author of Overcoming Sexual Problems. And apparently they consummate it on the way home.

How To Do It: Arouse her temptation. Pull her into a side alley or a dark doorway and plant one while gently stroking her neck, suggests Emily Dubberley, a British sex expert and the author of Brief Encounters. "Fear of being caught stimulates her fight-or-flight response," explains Ford. "Adrenaline floods her system, making everything feel much more intense."

Australia : Drive Her Wild

We Americans love our cars, but Australians love in their cars. Almost 75 percent of Aussies have had sex on the road, according to Durex. "We can always find a private space to get it on," says Jan Hall, Ph.D., an Australian sex therapist. The car provides the ideal cover: "Sneaking away for a surreptitious shag or fondle says, 'I can't wait,' " says Gabrielle Morrissey, Ph.D., Australian author of A Year of Spicy Sex.

How To Do It: Heading to a party is the perfect opportunity to lure her over to the driver's side--the mood is up, and you're dressed to the nines. Playfully graze her inner thigh with your fingertips. Suggest that it's proper to be fashionably late--how should we fill the time?--and park on a secluded street for a quickie. "It's like sharing a secret all night," Morrissey says, "especially if you've promised each other an encore."

Romania : Play it Straight

Meeting women is easy, if you're not sidetracked by insecurity ("Is she looking at me?"), coy games ("Have our waitress ask her waitress what she's drinking"), or body-language interpretation ("Dude, her eyes say no, but the angle of her feet says olé!"). When Romanian men want a woman, they tell her. "The men here have a lot of self-confidence," says Felicia Abaza, sex editor of Men's Health Romania. "And the women are tuned to respond to it."

How To Do It: Tired come-ons will fall flat. Instead, lean in unexpectedly and whisper in her ear, "I just had to be near you." Be mindful of your tone. Brash: bad. Calm: good. "Caress her with your voice," says Patricia Cihodaru, Ms.C., a Romanian psychologist and sex expert. And when you've become friendly enough that you won't get a punch in the chops, "say she looks beautiful and tell her how much you want her," says Cihodaru. "Hearing your desire is the strongest aphrodisiac."

China : Build Tension with Technology

Forget the 3-day rule. In China, men follow up the day after a successful date--by e-mail. "Technology plays a big role in relationships here," says Yoyoo Chow, sex editor of Men's Health China. "Most couples meet over the Internet. So if a man doesn't take the initiative, she'll find someone else pretty quickly."

How To Do It: Send a short, suggestive note, says Chow. Something as simple as "Last night . . . wow! When can I see you again?" will incite her interest. If she feels the same way, she'll respond accordingly. As the sexual tension builds, resist the temptation to pour out your soul or create a list of your top 10 fantasies. At this early stage, short equals sexy--always. And remember: Use of emoticons will ensure that you spend the night alone.

Italy : Seduce Her with Food

It's no secret that good food, wine, and conversation lead to great sex. "Italian men flock to dinner parties to meet women," says Adriana Amedei, sex editor at Men's Health Italy. "There's no crowd, no noise, it's relaxed. All you have to do is share your opinions . . . at least to start." The real mating game, says Amedei, begins at the table. Flirting overtly over a meal (or discreetly under the table) builds tension that will spill over later. "Food and sex are intimately connected, because they tap into the senses," says Martha Hopkins, author of InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook.

How To Do It: "Listen attentively to her, make eye contact, and seek out a common interest," says Hopkins. "Then, while eating, conjure up the same sounds that accompany passionate sex: mmm, oooh, aahh." You're creating a mood and a fantasy. Be subtle about it, however. You don't want the host to say, "Um, Fred, do you mind? We're eating."

India : Prolong Your Pleasure

Indian men know that the journey is almost always more interesting than the destination. "Sexual pleasure is linked to the gradual process of seduction, which includes courtship, touching, and kissing," says Sanjay Srivastava, Ph.D., author of Passionate Modernity. "Focusing on the finish misses the point."

How To Do It: Practice a technique called karezza, in which the man remains inside the woman for at least 10 minutes, moving only when necessary to maintain an erection. Penetrate her slowly and gently. Match your breathing and maintain eye contact to focus on your emotional connection, not the physical act. "Conventional sex can be very limiting," says Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., author of The Essential Tantra. "This results in a larger climax for both partners."

Netherlands : Play with Positions

Lovers in the Netherlands know what they want--and how to ask for it. Sixty-four percent of Dutch men and women are confident asserting their needs during sex, compared with less than half of Americans, according to the Durex survey. "In bars, men are picked up as often as they approach women themselves, and both are willing to experiment in bed," says Achsa Vissel, a Dutch sex psychologist. Being forward with your compliments--and desires--will pave the way for pleasure.

How To Do It: "Dutch men pay attention to places that seem less erotic, like the inner arms, back, and shoulders," says Vissel. Shaking up the routine leads to more sex: Sixty-three percent of the Dutch are satisfied with the amount of sex they're having, compared with 55 percent of Americans. When your partner is ready to move past the missionary position, try moves that allow you to stroke her clitoris during sex, like doggy-style or cowgirl.

Greece : Don't be So Uptight

Americans are bombarded with sexual imagery all day, yet we're closemouthed about sex. Not in Greece. "We talk about sex all the time--in the office, with our friends, with our partners," says Nikki Hayia, sex editor of Men's Health Greece. "A Greek man can talk dirty to his woman in front of 10 people, and it doesn't bother him to kiss and touch her in public." Simple public displays of affection can work for you, too: A recent study by the Berman Center in Chicago found that couples who kiss often in nonsexual situations are eight times more likely to be sexually satisfied.

How To Do It: Hint at what's to come, says Hayia: Subtly stroke her thigh or lower back during dinner; run your fingers up her leg; steal a lingering kiss on her bare shoulder at a crowded bar. "American men are too uptight," Hayia says. "Relax, guys. Have sex like there's no tomorrow."

The 10 Commandments of Dad

2007-06-14T10:44:00.000+08:00

Learn how to become an even better father

By: Hugh O'Neill, Illustrations by: Alex Nabaum

Editor's Note: This article is from Best Life magazine

I have found the fundamental laws of fatherhood. Skeptics said it couldn’t be done. Fatherhood is too complicated, they cried, to be reduced to capsule form. But the complexity only added intrigue to my search for guiding principles. After all the emotion, all the yelling, all the laughter, I have distilled the duties and demands down to a decade of Daddy dicta. Herewith, on behalf of all God’s children and the men who love them, the Ten Commandments of Dad.

I. Hey, Dad, Be Big

In spirit, that is. Despite some easing of parent gender-roles, fatherhood is still a star turn.

Granted, some of that patriarchal stuff is withering, but you’re still the strongest guy in that house. That counts. Consider some of the guys who have gone before you: Father Times, The Founding Fathers, God the Father. It’s a powerful tradition. The kids expect some stature from you. You can’t give this role a walk-through. You’ve got to play it.

Now, this doesn’t mean that you can choose any old vivid persona. After all, Genghis Khan was plenty vivid, and his kids didn’t have an easy time. But you can’t be a blank slate. The kids ought to know what the old man would think about this or that. You are the anvil on which they hammer out their deal with the world. Be a presence in their lives -- and

II. Hey, Dad, Be Small

Yes, this directly contradicts the first commandment. I told you, fatherhood is complicated. Don’t be so big that you suck all the air out of the room. Give your kids a little space to move around in, to test their thoughts and strengths. Take a back seat, figuratively speaking, three or four times a week. Say, "Maybe.’ Say, "I don’t know." Now and then, tell the kids you’re sorry. There are plenty of things to apologize for: anger, inattention, bad career planning, lack of whatever. Mean it. Be sorry. You’ll feel brand new.

III. Hey, Dad, Come Home

To be sure, the obligations of making a living can keep you out of the house. Lots of fathers have a day job and a night job. If that’s your situation, God bless you, pal. You’ll get no heat from me. But if you can pay the bills without working double-shift, you’ve got to be home when you can. You don’t have to be playing catch all the time or even talking to the kids. But at least, be present. Get off the golf course. Head home. Nothing good can happen until you do.

IV. Honor Thy Father and Mother

This is actually the biblical fifth commandment. It’s included here only because now that I’m one of the people getting the honoring, I like the sound of it much better than I did when I was a boy.

V. Bob and Weave, Dad, Bob and Weave

Stay light on your feet, Dad. Don’t make too many hard and fast rules. Don’t draw too many lines in the sand. This doesn’t mean anything goes; there are rules. It just means that fatherhood is an improvisation and that human hearts -- both yours and the children’s have a way with compromise. Don’t insist on having your way with the kids just because the rest of the world isn’t always overly interested in the sound of your voice. There is a difference between authority and power. Have the first; don’t abuse the second.

VI. Thou Shalt Not Dance in Front of Your Kids’ Friends

My own father once picked us up at a junior high school dance. As usual, he was wearing his wingtip shoes and that hat he got through the mail from Ireland. As we were walking out of the gym, he actually did a few seconds of the hully-gully with a horrified Margie Costanzo. My sister Kathy still has nightmares about it. If you’ve got to dance, dance with Mom in private. Don’t embarrass everybody with your version of the Hustle.

VII. Save Your Money, Big Man

You know all those corny proverbs about pennies saved? If you’re not careful, the kids will send you to the poorhouse three dollars and twenty-nine cents at a time. Think college tuition. Think down-payment on their starter homes. Though it’s true that money can’t buy happiness, it can buy lots of other stuff. Believe in compound interest, tax-free growth. For God’s sake, champ, be ready for emergencies.

VIII. Spend Your Money, Tightwad

You see what I’m after here, don’t you? F. Scott Fitzgerald said the sign of a first-rate mind was the ability to have two opposite opinions at the same time. Never mind that he fell victim to drink. You’re a first-rate mind, Dad. Spring for the glowing monster trading cards. If you’ve got the money, pop for the musical princess crown. What are you saving your money for, pal? College? Hah! You can’t possibly save enough. There is the future, and then there is now. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is it.

IX. Never Go on an Amusement Park Ride with the Word `Whirl’ in its Name, Especially the Space Shuttle Whirl at Great Escape Near Lake George, New York

Even though you want to participate with the kids, to feel their gravity-defying thrill/terror/glee, you mustn’t get on that ride with them. I did in the summer of 1995, and I’ve been a little queasy ever since. It’s tough to be a good father when you’re nervous system is on the fritz. Stay on the ground and wave.

X. This is Their Life, Not a Second Chance at Yours

I can’t say it any better than one of the most eminent psychiatrists of our time, Bruno Bettelheim: "We become upset when we believe we see in a child aspects of our own personalities of which we disapprove." Bang! On the money! It’s tempting to make good on your own shortcomings through your children. Just because you didn’t make the varsity at North Salem High that doesn’t mean Stan Jr. has to. Help them follow their own path, not your road-not-taken.

XI. Love Their Mother

One extra commandment. Hug Mom. Often. In front of the kids. Sure, sometimes marriages end, but the obligation to a woman doesn’t. Be grateful to her. Speak to her with respect. Try to make her laugh. Listen. You can figure out how to love her.

When all is said and done, fatherhood comes down to this. Be big. Be small. Be quiet, make noise. Don’t dance in front of your kids’ friends. Save. Spend. Stay off the whirling ride of death. And love their mother. And maybe one other thought, courtesy of Thoreau, about our guy tendency to value the wrong tools. "The weapons with which we have gained our most important victories, which should be handed down from father to son, are not the sword and the lance, but the bushwhack, the turf-cutter, the spade and the bog-hoe." The triumphs of Dad are about tenacity, keeping on.

So do whatever it takes. Stay loose. Use all the clubs in the bag. Hit the ball to all fields. Use whatever sports metaphor works for you. Just be sure to use your whole body, your voice, your memory, everything you’ve got. Whisper. Shout. Encourage. Goad. Cultivate the garden. Forgive. Be patient. Watch closely. Enjoy.

Excerpt from A Man Called Daddy, published by Rutledge Hill Press

Is Grinding an Okay Way to Approach Women?

2007-06-14T10:30:00.000+08:00

Short answer: No. For longer answers from women, keep reading

By: Bill Stieg

It's a fact of life in nightclubs today: grinding.

There's grinding with your girlfriend, and there's grinding with someone you hope might become your girlfriend, at least for that night.

Men, it's not working. If it does work, make sure you're carrying protection.

Here's the scenario: A guy approaches a woman at a club or bar dance floor and presses his pelvis against her in a suggestive way (suggestive, hell -- it's pretty explicit), hoping she'll respond in a friendly way.

A researcher in Canada actually studied this phenomenon, which has become increasingly accepted over the past decade or so. Dr. Jonathan Huber, M.D., of Queen's University College in Kingston, Ontario, found that about three in 10 women think it's okay.

Good luck finding those three. Men's Health's own spot survey of attractive, intelligent women found near-universal disgust with the move.

"This is my biggest pet peeve and I think it started in middle school," said Kerri, 24, of New York City. "I cringe when I see men doing this at a bar. Ick!

"Grinding a girl from behind is like having a big, slobbery dog hump your leg. It's embarrassing, a nuisance, and just uncomfortable. Please don't do it. Ever."

Dr. Huber, a resident in obstetrics and gynecology, published his results in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality. He surveyed 143 women ages 18 to 28 at five Canadian bars.

About seven in 10 found "sexually overt approach behaviors" not acceptable.

Dr. Huber told Men's Health he and his team spent 100 hours investigating five types of sexual advances: two kinds of grinding (front-to-front and from behind) and buttock, breast and genital groping. He said they saw "a lot of ass-grabbing"; but little breast or genital touching.

Fully 84 percent of the women surveyed had been approached by a man grinding her from behind, he reported.

"The sexual script may be evolving to include more overt sexual touching earlier in the script," he told The National Post, "whereas the touching decades ago only came in at the end of the story."

The women who didn't like it still "accepted it as something that just happens [at singles bars]," Dr. Huber told the newspaper.

And it's happening more and more -- and in some other places, too, said another New York woman: "Guys have even tried to sneak little grinds in crowded subways -- it's pretty desperate and gross."

One Canadian woman told researchers, "Grinding is just dancing." Women who objected called it "rude," "too personal," and "pure lust and horniness."

Which is pretty tame compared with what Men's Health found.

Sandra, 35, says it happens subtly on the subway and overtly on the dance floor.

"I find it maddening and have been known to ask loudly, 'Just WHAT the hell do you think you're doing?' to embarrass the perp/perv. Most aren't ashamed of their actions."

And she acknowledges that some women don't mind -- "why else would men continue to do it? They have to get a positive response at least SOME of the time."

When asked what her response would be, Kate, 25, of Philadelphia, joked, "How many drinks have I had?"

"Usually it's fun and flattering and not unenjoyable," she admitted, "and it's something I'll do with a guy for a song or two -- then high-tail it out of there.

"Sometimes, though, if you're at a club, you're looking for meaningless makeouts, and it's late, a cute guy grinding up on you might just get some. My initial reaction to the study and the approach was, 'Oh, gross.' But in practice, the direct approach can work -- if it's the right bar and the right girl."

Huber concurs, telling Men's Health: "If you look at the dancing only, the success rate is fairly high. Talking to the guys, they think of it as shotgun approach. Bad response? Just move on to the next one. Talking to a girl is too much of a time investment."

Helen, 22, of Iowa City, called the practice "rampant, especially in college towns. I'll be on the dance floor with a group of girlfriends and guys just come up and start grinding, with no invitation whatsoever. It's creepy."

It's also an indication of desperation, Helen said. "They'll go from group to group until they find girls who are cool with it, which makes it even creepier, since they're on the prowl. If a guy is looking just to get some, this might work if the girl is just looking for the same.

"But I think that for most intelligent women, it's a turn-off. And really, the guys who I see doing this most aren't usually the smart, attractive, funny ones; it's the ones who don't have any luck with more mature methods of approaching women."

Cristina, 26, of New York, calls it "rude and presumptive."

"This is actually one of the reasons why I was initially turned off by the club scene a few years ago," she said. "It was all about guys --usually neither good looking nor charming -- approaching you from behind. No 'Hello, my name is Steve' before you're abruptly introduced to his Johnson from behind."

It's been around for more than 10 years, she says. "Now at 26, that sort of dancing is invitation-only, reserved mainly for friends and my boyfriend."

"If some random guy came up behind me and started grinding with me, I'd want to slap him," says Lola, 22, of Atlanta. "If you want to dance with me, approach me head-on and make eye contact first. We'll see where things go from there. But let me decide how close I want to get with you before you invade my personal space."

Kate, of Philadelphia, said it doesn't happen everywhere: "Grinding happens at big clubs where they play a lot of pounding hip hop, not bars or smaller loungers that blast Madonna and Prince. And chances are, you hit up the big club if you want to meet creepy dudes."

Kerri, the 24-year-old from New York, says there's another part of the explanation: "I think my generation is the first generation not to know how to dance. It's like all the uncoordinated people decided that because they're bad at dancing why not do a motion that looks like sex standing up because surely they'll be good at that. Sorry, no dice. You still look ridiculous."

Sandra added: "But I am also surprised when smart, accomplished and independent women I personally know shrug off this kind of advance and it doesn't really bother them. 'It's just something guys do.' That's a sign that although they may not appreciate the approach, they view it as socially normative behavior. Call me old fashioned, but I still see it as sexual harassment."

Alison, 22, of Allentown, said if she feels "the lurking presence of some random guy behind me, I might turn around and dance with him."

But she's "not a fan of random guys touching me while I'm dancing, let alone coming up from behind and pulling some kind of sneak attack on my back end.

"I have only used a jab to the trachea once, but that was an extreme case."

Tim Perper, who wrote a 1985 book called Sex Signals: The Biology of Love, which talked of quaint moves like hair-tossing and eye contact, told the Post, "We're coming out of a century of rather muted public sexuality . . . The kids have rediscovered what has been around since ancient Rome."

Source: http://www.menshealth.com

Grill the Best Steak Ever

2007-06-14T09:41:00.000+08:00

A cookout should be relaxing. Make Bobby Flay's version of chimichurri -- Argentina's answer to barbecue sauce -- and let it do all the work as both a marinade and a dipping sauce. It's great on steak, chicken, and pork. Too lazy to make it yourself? Let Flay whip it up for you at his new joint, Bobby Flay Steak, in Atlantic City.

Chimichurri
11/2 c Spanish olive oil
Juice of 2 limes
11/2 c finely chopped fresh parsley
8 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 shallots, minced
2 Tbsp each finely chopped fresh basil, thyme, and oregano
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine the ingredients in a bowl and season with salt and pepper. Divide the chimichurri between 2 bowls. Use half as the marinade and half as the dipping sauce.

Gaucho Steak
2 lb skirt steak, cut crosswise into 3 equal portions
Chimichurri
Salt and pepper

1. Place the steak in a large baking dish and pour half of the chimichurri over it. Turn to coat; cover and marinate in the refrigerator for 2 hours.

2. Preheat grill to high. Let the steak come to room temperature. Remove it from the marinade and season with salt and pepper. Grill for 4 to 5 minutes on one side until browned, turn, and grill another 4 to 5 minutes for medium-rare doneness. Remove from the grill, let the meat rest for 10 minutes, and slice thinly on the bias. Serve with the remaining chimichurri on the side.

Cooked to perfection

Check doneness by pressing a steak in the center, says Steven Raichlen, author of The Barbecue! Bible. Then use your thumb, fingers, and the varying firmness of the base of your thumb as your guide.

INDEX FINGER: RARE
Internal temp: 125F
Soft and squishy, like a pink sponge

MIDDLE FINGER: MEDIUM RARE
Internal temp: 145F
Firm but yielding, like a Nerf football

RING FINGER: MEDIUM
Internal temp: 160F
Barely yielding, like a racquetball

PINKY FINGER: WELL
Internal temp: 170F
Hard yet springy, like a tennis ball